Parachute of broken things

Published on August 25, 2009 in Uncategorized and alena. 5 Comments Tags: , , .

Having long subscribed to the idea that life experience is crucial to creativity, and that sometimes I’ve needed to fall apart in order to put myself back together in another way, this quote here unsurprisingly really floats my boat.

“I have woven a parachute out of everything broken” William Stafford

And this is how poetry can reach inside of us and pull something out in a different way.

Much of the time I have thought about my past as somewhat shameful and derisive. And surely, to some, it has been that way.

Amidst the shame and guilt around things I could have done better, there is also an awareness of my own responsibility for the way things have been. My history, though at times shady, has given me a unique and shiny attitude to how things are now.

I vividly recall making a deal with the devil and inviting difficult and dark experiences into my life with full awareness of the risk  because (somewhat naively) I was ambitious, wanted to be an artist or a writer, and felt that my middle class upbringing was not interesting enough to fuel this ambition.

Growing up I read biographies and followed life stories. Those of the people I really admired universally involved some kind of deep and soulful suffering or tragedy: think Virginia Woolf (depressed and suicidal), Nelson Mandela (imprisoned for most of his life), William Burroughs (shot his own wife, addicted), River Phoenix (addicted, died on the street outside the Viper Room).

Ok so River was just gorgeous actually, but you get my point.

From this haphazard research I concluded that unless you can make yourself a ‘parachute out of everything broken’ as William Stafford so eloquently suggested, you will surely fall to your death with or without leaving something inspirational and beautiful behind you.

So I’m weaving my little heart out – I’m threading my bad behaviour to my guilt, and I’m sewing a patch of selfishness onto my scrap of fear. It’s really coming along nicely.

And it’s going to be one hell of a parachute.

Bittersweet choices

Published on August 10, 2009 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments Tags: , .

It’s a world of opposites. The bitter and the sweet, the dark and the light, the green and the red.

I’ve been reading a book called “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Victor E Frankl. It was originally published in German in 1946.  When it was first translated to English it was called “From Death Camp to Existentialism”.

Now we all know that it’s not what happens, it’s how you respond and what meaning you give it that matters most.  What sets this book apart is its total authenticity.  Victor Frankl has lived, he is a walking testament to his own theory that purpose and meaning and suffering make a person what they are. In fact, he goes so far as to indicate that they are necessary for a satisfying and happy life. We need both  joy and suffering to have meaning. We need the opposites, just as life is based on a system of positive and negative charges, and the universe on the same.

Ultimately we have a choice how we live – and every day we make a spiritual choice with our beliefs and behaviours that in turn alters our experience of life.

“In attempting this psychological presentation and a psychopathological explanation of the typical characterisation of a [concentration] camp inmate I may give the impression that the human being is completely and unavoidably influenced by his surroundings… But what about human liberty? Is there no spiritual freedom in regard to behaviour and reaction to any given surroundings?

“.. The experience of camp life shows that man does have a choice of action. There were enough examples, often of a heroic nature, which proved that apathy could be overcome, irritability suppressed. Man can preserve a vestige of spiritual freedom, of independence of mind, even in such terrible conditions of psychic and physical stress.

“…everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.
“…Even though conditions such as lack of sleep, insufficient food and various mental stresses may suggest that the inmates were bound to react in certain ways, in the final analysis it becomes clear that the sort of person the prisoner became was the result of an inner decision, and not the result of the camp influences alone.
“…It is this spiritual freedom – which cannot be taken away – that makes life meaningful and purposeful.
“..The way in which a man accepts his fate and all the suffering it entails, the way in which he takes up his cross gives him ample opportunity  – even under the most difficult circumstances – to add a deeper meaning to his life”

Applying this to my day to day life, I make authenticity and truth my idols. And I’m not the only one.

There’s a trend towards eco-labelling that is often misleading, which can cause more harm than good to any brand. (To be branded a liar is an undesirable marketing outcome to say the least – it’s potentially irreparable in terms of good will and customer loyalty.)  See here for an online article on false and misleading eco-labelling.

Of course the reality is that most people won’t look beyond the label, and truly who has time to investigate anything these days?

Similarly with carbon-trading, how authentic is this as an idea?

For a light-hearted approach to this topic see ‘What is Cheat Offsetting?’

“What is cheat offsetting?
When you cheat on your partner you add to the heartbreak, pain and jealousy in the atmosphere.
Cheatneutral offsets your cheating by funding someone else to be faithful and NOT cheat. This neutralises the pain and unhappy emotion and leaves you with a clear conscience.
Can I offset all my cheating?
First you should look at ways of reducing your cheating. Once you’ve done this you can use Cheatneutral to offset the remaining, unavoidable cheating.”

So how to reconcile the beauty of Victor Frankl’s message with the sometimes corrupt world in which we live? How do we live according to spiritual choices in a life that requires us to ‘play the game’ and hopefully win?

We make choices with heart and soul.

We read the labels, the small print, between the lines.

We accept and rejoice and suffer and accept and rejoice and suffer, regardless what life throws at us and how well we can catch.

And we live with the consequences in the sunshine and in the rain, the red and the green, the bitter and the sweet… because we need both to truly and meaningfully live.

One moment at a time

Published on August 3, 2009 in Uncategorized, alena, art, mixed media and paintings. 1 Comment Tags: , , , .
Hoodie Girl #2

Hoodie Girl #2

Here she is, the product of my last few weeks’ brushstrokes – she came out of a friend’s desire for her, cups of coffee with semi-strange men late at night, sleepless midnights and the unstoppable desire to create. She was meant for another, but I love her so much I don’t think I can let her go.

She’s my new Hoodie Girl, and I’m running out of wall…

For now, she’s a stand alone, I’ll not write more until inspired to. For now, she’s just here, looking at the ground, unassumingly existing.

Step 1 – Peace

Published on July 30, 2009 in Uncategorized. 2 Comments Tags: , , , .

This one needs no commentary, just watch it – to the end if you can.

It’s well worth it.

Now versus tomorrow

Published on July 20, 2009 in Uncategorized. 2 Comments Tags: , , .

What we need now must not endanger what we need tomorrow. This is the essence of one of the key principles of sustainability.

source: www.csdesign.org/sustainable.html

source: www.csdesign.org/sustainable.html

I’m fresh from reading an excellent blog post on sustainability that does what is says it will and ‘demystifies’ the concept. Well worth a read.

A lady I know and I were recently working on a grant application and she noted that when something is ’sustainable’ it’s not really great. Her opinion, and I imagine the opinion of many, is that if you describe, say, a relationship as ’sustainable’ it doesn’t sound very good. As an aside, I must say that this particular person is quite interested in things looking or sounding ‘nice’, whereas I would say I am more a substance kind of person, less concerned with appearances. And there’s arguments for both sides of that coin. Without surface, there is not depth: some would say the superficial level of something is merely the first thing noticed. And I love things that are aesthetically beautiful, no doubt.

Back to the main point though, is ’sustainable’ enough? Or can we aim higher? Human beings are brilliant and eminently powerful creatures, so one may ask is it good enough to be merely sustainable?

Let’s take interpersonal relationships as an example. Some people may prefer intense and brilliant interactions, and not be so concerned with the long-term nature of a relationship. To others, there are opposite priorities. My best friend in high school was a gorgeous and gregarious blonde girl who made big first impressions and was extremely popular. I was the one that didn’t get noticed straight away but had deep and loving friendships with fewer people. Years after high school – throughout which I longed to be more like her – I received a letter from her. She admitted that whe had always wanted to be more like me, someone who grew on people as time went by. In the end I believe that both of our qualities are wonderful, and that we learnt how to adapt, and how the other one operated by observing each other. She taught me to ‘turn it on’ so to speak and I taught her a quieter way.

To me, sustainability is about taking less then you give. Although the concept is most commonly used in discussions about the environment at the moment, I would like it to be something we consider in all our affairs. I would hope that I give more to those I care for than I take. That my needs from them today do not proclude them from being my friend tomorrow. I would hope that what I do for people I love today might build both of us up and help us both to continue to grow.

So with this solar eclipse tomorrow, 22 July 2009, I do hope that we gain some deeper understanding of how to live truly and thoroughly sustainably, no matter how infantesimal the understanding is. Not solely with compost and vegetable  growing (not to deny those things are also great), but also with the relationships we hold. Personally, I will endeavour to weigh my own needs just slightly less than the needs of those I care for and give all I can to really be there for them. Happy sun-dance people.

We don’t have to choose

Published on July 14, 2009 in Uncategorized and for the love of it. 1 Comment Tags: , , .

Reading a well-written and insightful blog about Buddhism today, I loved the part that discussed how “the special opportunity for liberation that the human realm offers is a vital teaching” along with the mention of “gaps of clarity”. At the moment my life comprises of a series of these gaps, broken up by those things involved with living – eating, sleeping, washing and child-rearing for some examples.

This evening, after the cooking of the meatballs (imagine the child, fingers deep in mince, saying “this is fun Mummy”) and then, thankfully, the eating of the meatballs, and after the highly imperfect spat in the car about, you guessed it, I can’t even remember what now… I had a beautiful realisation. For ages now I have intellectually understood the idea of being a multi-disciplinary artist and yet still, in the dark corners of my thinking, I have felt that I had to choose.

Mind-voice 1: Am I a painter?

Mind-voice 2: Well, I do love to paint.

Mind-voice 1: Or maybe, I’m a writer!

Mind-voice 2: Oooh, writing, yeah, that’s so cool. I’ve always been a bit of a natural at that one.

Mind-voice 3: Chocolate biscuits…

And then suddenly it hit me, like a cold wahu fillet to the cheek, I DON’T HAVE TO CHOOSE!

Brilliant. I may have to choose clothes to wear, hairstyles (when I can be bothered), what to grow in my beautiful garden, which man to go out with (on a good day), but dangnammit, I don’t have to choose any one particular specific form of creativity. They are really and truly all good. They are all reflections of me expressed outwardly. They are all ways to communicate the inside bits to the outside bits and keep the flows happening.

Last night I went t see a very special friend of mine, the incredibly talented Peta Sergeant, in her current theatre show Savage River. (Hurry and go see it at the Stables/Griffin Theatre! Awesome show… and yes – I am biased but fair.) It struck me as I waited for her to emerge after the show that she is one of those brave souls who puts it on the line. She has relentlessly pursued success as an actor and is incredibly deserving of the many roles she gets. She lives her creativity and left her home-town of Brisbane, Australia, as a teenager to attend NIDA, the school renowned for breaking its students to pieces and putting them back together again as amazing actors (think ex-students such as Mel Gibson, Nicole Kidman). She is also a singer and songwriter with the Bellows, a great cook, she makes beautiful handmade things (I still love the leather handbag she made me years ago), a filmmaker and a rockin’ wife extraordinaire. And I am only just seeing what a genius she is.

So now, I’m here, all inspired, tap-tap-tapping away on the keys and dreaming up ways to fit a piano into my tiny apartment, and how I’m going to make amazing things this week in any way I choose, in any medium that takes my fancy, just ‘coz.

When people ask me “why are you doing your blog” it is as if they want me to say “oh, to make a little extra from Google Ads” or some half-assed, cockimany reason… but I answer “I’m just doing it”. Surely by now you’ve noticed that those things that come from love + action are the greatest, most successful and most satisfying ventures in life. I bet billionaires rarely make meatballs, ya know?

For the love of it

Published on July 7, 2009 in for the love of it. 2 Comments Tags: , .

We’re going to ask you a question, and we’d love to see your answer with comments on this blog… When was the last time you did something just for the love of it? When have you acted solely to fulfil a dream or longing?

Man on Wire

The reason we pose this question is to shine a light on the inspirational results that come from such action. Phillipe Petit for example  carried out wire-walks between the Sydney Harbour Bridge pylons (shown above), over Notre Dame and between the World Trade Centres. People stood and watched and he heard their murmurs from 450metres above ground. When the dumbfounded and clearly affected policemen that witnessed the event from the top of the towers were asked about it, they could hardly describe it. Even they were clearly heart-touched. When they asked him why he did it, he answered that there was no why.  According to the Academy Award-winning documentary Man on Wire, he tells the story of being in a dentist’s office as a young man and sighting a newspaper article about the planned building of the Towers in New York. He ripped the article out and raced back home, compelled. And that was before they were even built. As a child apparently all he had wanted to do was climb things, no-one could stop him.

There are some beautiful pictures of some work done in old disused newspaper dispensers in the USA. When I visited New York I used to see them standing like colourfully dressed bystanders on every corner. This lot put flowers in them, alive and grown, for the enjoyment of passers by. What a beautiful re-use of urban flotsam and jetsam. They’ve managed to turn their beat around with the power of an idea and a bit of soil and seedling action. Have a look for yourself on their website.

Man of the moment Michael Jackson said it like this:

‘Fun inspires me..out of bliss comes magic and creativity.’ – MJ

And here’s the amazing thing about our unstoppable nature as human beings: when we are compelled and driven by this kind of genuine love, not much can stop us achieving it. It’s powerful, just as are we.

Green means love

Published on July 1, 2009 in Uncategorized, alena, art and green living. 3 Comments Tags: , , .

There’s a strange principle at work in all life, sometimes it’s called love. The more love we involve in the things we do (the real green, heartfelt kind of love that is) the more life, the way we live it, and the things we make, sing and shine and uplift. Strong memories of sitting in my room as a teen,  drawing, writing and listening to music are great reminders of this. When I was about 15 years old, one of the by-products of this “love-time” was the picture shown here.

the love tree

The picture is oddly prophetic. Today I spent the morning making a patch of soil for my local cafe ready for planting. I did what this picture here above is talking about and made a patch of land fertile around a tree so it can grow food for the local community – and I loved it.

Just like Michael Jackson, a lot of us peak early, then perhaps look around the world for a time only to find we had it all in us to begin with. Some of us get lost along the way – whether it be by the ‘paths’ we take through danger or addiction or destructive behaviour. Mr Jackson was an incredibly beautiful and talented child, his voice and lyrics sang the world into meaning for many people, including me. He was incredibly generous with his inherant gifts. It seems he was perhaps too sensitive and hearty and lost his way amongst money, fame, isolation and painkillers.  Maybe something in him gave up on love.

People are sharing their memories on his site put up by Sony Music so we can all grieve his passing together. When I think of all the wedding dancefloors, daggy nightclub DJs and house party mixes that have included a moment of “Don’t Blame ii on the Sunshine” or all the times I’ve felt overjoyed when I find “Rock With You” playing on an AM radio station in the country whilst on a roadtrip, I feel humbled and grateful. As a teen we would sing “PYT Pretty Young Thing” at the top of our voices on the back of the school bus. I was lucky to have been a teen when Thriller topped the charts for record time. It was truly thrilling back then.

So my hope for everyone reading this is that we remember our innermost passions and stay with them, and never, ever give up on them no matter what. If we find ourselves in an innoportune place to live our loves, know that whatever got us to where we are today can get us out of it.

Today, green means love to me. I love Michael Jackson and his music, and I love the fact that despite his addictions and his madness much of the world is celebrating his life and his gifts. Rest in PEACE Mr Jackson, let’s hope you find your love and your meaning somewhere, somehow. Your mission, reader, should you choose to accept it, is to make a decision to be the love, and do it now.

Do these few things and save the world… it really can be that simple.

Published on June 20, 2009 in Uncategorized and green living. 1 Comment Tags: , , , .
  1. Be kind to people, especially those who live nearby. Peace begins at home.
  2. Use canvas bags, not plastic ones – not only are they more attractive, they make less crinkly noises.
  3. Use metal coffee mugs and reuse them, just carry one with you at all times (here’s a good blerb about it).
  4. Use metal water bottles (companies like Sigg make great ones).
  5. Eat food grown locally as much as possible – find the local market, and swap food with your neighbours if you get too much of something.
  6. And one extra thing, find a garden that needs compost if you don’t have one yourself – ask the local school, or council to find one – and start composting. The earth needs to be fed and the garbage piles are getting too big.

These are all really simple things. If you’d like more information about any of them leave a comment here and I’ll personally get back to you with information. It’s so easy. And any time you’re spending focusing on these simple things, is time spent literally saving the world.

If you like officialdom, here’s what the Australian Govt has to say about sustainability tips.

Now, sure some of you think this is SO obvious, but others of you clearly have no clue about it. So this post is a little ode to the simple ones of us, who despite being intelligent in every other area of their lives, have not quite yet changed their basic habits.

‘Nuff said. Go hero now and start ticking of that list above.

What is green / Aviva Hannah

Published on June 9, 2009 in Uncategorized, art, mixed media and paintings. 1 Comment Tags: , , , .

Aviva Hannah is an eco-scientist and artist. She has participated in many exhibitions and protests in relation to deforestation in Tasmania, where she is based. Since childhood her talents as an artist and naturalist have been advanced. Aviva Hannah also travels and performs whilst journaling and drawing. Her lifestyle is organic in the true sense of the word. Here is her take on the ‘what does green mean’ question.

what is green…..

'Time to Cherish or Perish.' Aviva Hannah 2008 recycled paper, mixed media - currently held in private collection of Christine Milne, Australian Green Party Senator
‘Time to Cherish or Perish’  Aviva Hannah 2008, recycled paper, mixed media. Currently held in private collection of Christine Milne, Green Senator “being green is daring to care…..in a society that has only just begun to realise its damage and repercussions, being green is standing up, admitting mistakes and the many comforts that ‘progressive’ modern society has provided, as detrimental to ecological processes and making changes. In many cases being ‘green’ will be more expensive, harder work and more personally energy intensive but in the long term….being green is looking way past the short term economic agendas, personal and political.

being green is daring to stare into the lair of humanity… but one must beware the glare…if you care, it may tear your heart apart…. there has come a time, when we must cherish or perish….

i think being green is recognizing that the earth is the ultimate provider, protector, carer and destroyer… i think being green is about Respect      and Response.”
See work from Aviva Hannah’s latest exhibition here.